Last In Line
by Searose
Summary: Lana/Cheryl. Takes place at the end of 1x10: "Dial M for Mother".  Cheryl may be last in line to "get it on" with Lana, but she won't settle for anything less than the real deal.
1. Last in Line

Title: Last In Line

Fandom: Archer

Pairing: Lana/Cheryl

Rating: M

Summary: Takes place at the end of 1x10: "Dial M for Mother". Cheryl may be last in line to "get it on" with Lana, but she won't settle for anything less than the real deal.

x.x.x

Author's Note: This is my first real fanfiction, so it will be far from perfect. Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated! Also, Archer does not belong to me, unfortunately. Enjoy the story.

x.x.x

"I know that there won't be a next time, Lana, but I want you to know that I really appreciate that someone has treated me like a sensual, beauti-"

Pam froze in Lana's icy glare and quickly shuffled her feet back into her shoes. Lana shoved Pam's clothes into her arms and pushed her towards the door, turning around and only relaxing once she heard Pam rustle back into her clothes and the door open.

Lana slipped her red sweater back dress over her head and sighed. Pretending to have sex with every man at ISIS was exhausting enough, but actually getting down with Pam, unfortunately, had proven to be a real work out, and attempting to imagine Pam's hefty, lumpy body as belonging to Alex Karas was no easy feat.

The truth was, though, that as much as Lana expected that she would want to erase the fresh memories of sex with from her mind, it wasn't quite as terrible as she had expected. The fact that it was with Pam had been far from ideal, but the fact that it was with a woman... well, Lana hadn't experienced that since her days as an activist. Back then, all of her activist friends had done lots of crazy things together and thought nothing of it. There were a few times in particular that Lana could remember when she and her one of her best friends had had sex after a protest and a night of drinking. Lana was not gay, she knew that for sure, but there had been something sensual and lovely about the times that she had made love to women when she was younger, and after today she realized just how much she had missed it. After the ordeal with Cyril, it seemed that maybe she should go back to girls. She would just have to find someone more, well, _attractive_ than Pam. Someone hot, wild, sexual... Lana could feel herself getting excited at the prospect.

_Keep it together, Kane,_ she thought, running her manly hands over her pleasant facial features, _it's all over now. Women are in your past._ Thankfully, Pam had been so grateful to have finally gotten laid that Lana had been able to just shove Pam's clothes at her and shoe her away. _Finally,_ Lana thought as she fastened her belt and smoothed her dress over her thighs, _I'll have a moment of peace and quiet..._

There was a stirring in the doorway and Lana groaned, "Of COURSE! Leave it to PAM to leave the door WIDE OPEN while I'm changing!" She whirled around and came face to face with Cheryl, who leaned against the door frame, smiling wide. For the first time, Lana noticed, begrudgingly, just how pretty she was.

"What does it matter to you, Little Miss Monster Hands? Apparently everyone at ISIS has seen your bod already!" Cheryl crossed her arms beneath her small breasts, chin raised high and defiant as she chuckled. Lana could see thick splotches of purple and red coiled around Cheryl's slender neck and scowled. _Those had better not be from Cyril..._

"Oh, really! Look who's calling the kettle black!" Lana spat, "At least I didn't sleep with a co-worker's BOYFRIEND! Now GET OUT OF MY WAY!" Lana moved to push Cheryl away from the door frame but was stopped when the door slammed in front of her. Shocked, Lana instinctively grabbed her gun and pointed it at Cheryl, who stared back, wide-eyed.

"Listen to me, you skinny little bitch. I have half a mind to blow your kneecaps off. So... either we do this the easy way, and you let me out of this room, or we do it hard, and I leave you here... _in a puddle of blood._"

Cheryl bit her lip, her eyes on the gun. She deliberated for a moment and then grew brave. "Hmmm... well, Lana, I like the sound of doing it hard, so long as the blood is only coming from my neck!" Cheryl leapt at Lana, who dropped her gun in surprise and threw Cheryl to the ground. Lana was trained to be prepared for any and all shocking situations, but somehow she hadn't been prepared for that.

"_What the hell is wrong with you?_" Lana shrieked, leaping back and scrambling for her weapon.

"I have a ticket to like those guys all did!" Cheryl struggled to pick herself back up and waved a brown square of cardboard in the air. "I... I guess I'm just last in line."

Lana looked down at Cheryl in disbelief. "Are. You. Kidding!_ You_ want to... to sleep with _me_?"

"Want isn't the best word. _Need_ on the other hand..." Cheryl thrust her body against Lana, who was too stunned to move. "...is a more appropriate choice."

"Uh. Ok. Hold up." Lana gently pushed Cheryl off of her, aware of the blood rising in her cheeks and a surprising moisture gathering between her thighs. "I'm confused. Is this the same girl that screwed my _boyfriend_? Haven't you messed around with my life enough?"

"Aw, c'mon, Lana! Please?"

"Please? Cheryl, I... I don-" Lana's words were muffled beneath Cheryl's lips as the secretary kissed the agent fiercely. Lana's mind was torn beneath arousal and disgust as she felt Cheryl small hands work their way around her body, snaking their way along her and spine and moving downward...

"Mmmm...Uh..." Lana suddenly pulled away forcefully, pushing against Cheryl's shoulders and backing towards the door. "Um. Ok. Wow. Uh... Kinda not going to do this. I'm getting out of here."

Lana hurried out, averting the eyes of her co-workers. "Wait, Lana, are you really going to leave me here like this?" Cheryl shouted, getting herself together and following Lana out the door.

"Yyyyyyuuuup!" Lana yelled back. She rushed into her office and slammed the door, exhaling deeply to try and calm her quivering body and racing mind.

Cheryl had caught Lana in a moment of mental weakness was all. Tomorrow, Lana would be back to her old self. She was sure of it.


	2. Second Thoughts

x.x.x

Author's Note: To any and all who have read this story so far: thank you very much for reading and for being patient. I have had a busy summer with work and friends and life so it's been hard finding time to write. Please review!

x.x.x

Back at her apartment, Lana ran a bath and poured herself a glass of wine. While the water ran she relaxed into a chaise lounge, sipping thoughtfully at the deep red liquid in the smooth glass. She picked up her phone to check her voicemail and listened to an agonizing four messages from a whimpering Cyril, begging her to take him back, reminding her who "makes the best stir fry." Lana felt anger swell within her as Cyril blubbered senselessly.

"Blah, blah, blah, now _shut it_, asshole." Lana sighed as his last message ended with Cyril's wailing cutting off abruptly. She wondered why she had ever put up with him, thinking of his incessant questions and incomparable neediness. Had it really been worth it just to piss Archer off?

She sipped thoughtfully at the wine, reflecting on her day. When she had woken up this morning, she had no idea that she would have pretended to bone every last man at ISIS, and then actually end up doing... Pam. Lana shuddered at the memory, wondering if Krieger could provide her with some monstrous "spy" device to eradicate those thoughts from her brain.

Cheryl, on the other hand, had ignited feelings within Lana that Lana hadn't felt in a while, feelings that she didn't think she was capable of feeling anymore. Was it possible that Lana was turned on by the thought of, at last, being back in control of someone? Archer had never been "hers", and Cyril had betrayed her. Cheryl was ditzy and submissive, though, Lana knew, not entirely moronic. And there was no denying that she was rather attractive, though, thankfully, her looks wouldn't challenge Lana's. Lana stood up and downed the last of her wine as she stood for a moment, thinking.

Lana walked into the bathroom and shut the water off, admiring the smooth surface as tossed in bath salts and sloshed them around to create suds and free the scent. She slid off her dress and climbed into the steaming water, feeling her tension melt as she sunk down into the bubbly suds. She ran her hands down her body, feeling the rippling warm of the water against her curves. Lana realized that, even with all of her sexual escapades and her broad range of relationship experiences, she couldn't recall a time when she had taken a bath with anyone. She had taken plenty of showers with various men - and the occasional woman - but she couldn't remember ever snuggling against someone in a dimly light bathroom, surrounded by the warmth of the water. Somewhere deep within Lana's thoughts, Cheryl entered, quietly disrobing in a corner of Lana's brain and easing herself into the warm water...

Lana snapped back to reality and leapt slightly, splashing water over the sides of the tub. _Damn it, Kane, this is Cheryl we're talking about! Or... is it actually Carol? Or... oh god._ Lana sighed and leaned her neck back against the cool marble of the tub, closing her eyes and allowing her mind to wander off as her fingers wandered between her thighs. She allowed herself to imagine how it would be if Cheryl were in the tub with her, how it would feel to have Cheryl's breasts pressed against her own and feel Cheryl's fine-boned fingers working where Lana's were right at the moment. Lana groaned as she pushed her fingers inside of herself, biting softly on her lower lip as she envisioned pressing it against Cheryl's slim waist. She could feel herself getting close to orgasm, but something was holding Lana back, and no matter how hard she tried to let herself let go, she felt restrained. Lana groaned and sank deeper into the water, defeated.

After a moment, she rallied. "Okay, something has GOT to give," Lana muttered to herself, stepping out from the suds and wrapping herself in a thick pink towel. She drained the water and moved toward the mirror, inspecting her impeccable reflection and questioning her own eyes.

"What do you _want?_" she asked herself. Her reflection provided a blank stare, and then a snarl. "Who can help me figure this all out?" she tried this time, and her eyes provided the very answer that she had been dreading.

Before she could second guess herself, Lana rushed from the bathroom and grabbed her phone. She paused for a moment and stared at the screen, finally forcing herself to click one of the first contacts on her list. She chewed at the skin on her index finger as the phone rang, suddenly hoping that no one would pick up...

"Uh, Archer? Hey. It's... me."


End file.
